NO PLAYS EXCHANGED. 




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A DETECTIVE IN PETTI- 
COATS 







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/ft <ft 

/j\ NEW OPERETTAS FOR CHILDREN. A 

I KING COLE. I 

J? A BURLESQUE OPERETTA IN THREE ACTS. JP 

/|\ Libretto by H. N. CUNNINGHAM. /i\ 

/iS Music by M. L. COOLEY. /|S 

fa fa 

ilV ^ en male ' tnree female characters, and as many as desired for chorus. JaC 

tyy Costumes fancy, but not difficult ; scenery desirable, but not absolutely *|J 

y|V necessary. Written primarily for boys, particularly for boy choirs, boys' /AV 

ili scnools or clubs, it was intended originally that boys should play the female 

^|V characters, but girls may be introduced in these parts, if desired, and also in 

/A\ the chorus. The music is easy, catchy, and easily learned. Five of the parts 

ili demand good singers, but the other characters are not exacting. The music is ^u 

*|J printed complete with the text. The plot of the operetta is inspired by the *|. 

/|V familiar enactment of King Cole in the nursery rhyme, and is fancifully /AV 

JiV developed with much humor and a satirical side glance at recent political hap- ' 

%?J penings. Plays one hour and a half. 



fa 



fa 

\!/ Price 50 cents. \f * 

¥ * 

| A DREAMS™ FLOWERS. § 

W % Cantata for CJjtltiren. Jjjj 

ll/ CONSISTING OF SONGS, CHORUSES, RECITATIONS, \lf 

*y DIALOGUES, ETC. Ay 

SM By NELLIE E. CASE. W 

* — w 

\f/ For fourteen little girls, one little boy, and chorus. Costumes fanciful, but \|f 

kfy easily gotten up. Ko scenery needed, though it can be employed to advantage. \Ljk'd 

^V. This cantata primarily celebrates May Day, introducing a May-pole Dance, but ^1^ 

\f/ it is good and not unsuitable for performance at any season. It is published \f/ 

t|j complete with music, pretty and very easy. This piece is the work of an expe- ili 

Tir rieuced teacher, familiar with the needs and limitations of children, and is ^V* 

\f/ offered with confidence. \tf 

\|/ Price 35 cents. \ff 

W i w 



A Detective in Petticoats 



A Comedy in Three Acts 



For Female Characters Only 



By SARAH FOLSOM ENEBUSKE 



BOSTON 

WALTER H. BAKER & CO 
1900 



53663 



* = 1 i II 

c <-> en cry t ~p: 



a i oo. 



ir i8 



A Det ec ti ve I 7 i P ettreoats 



CHARACTERS 



«&& 



(As originally produced by the Emanuel Club, of Radcliffe 
College, under the title of " A Lover in Duplicate" at 
Fay House, May i6th, 1896.) 



OCTAVIA FROTHINGHAM, 



Mrs. Evelyn Warrington. 

I her sister, an heiress and a Rad- 
\ cliff e graduate. 

Georgie Napper, a detective from Chicago. 
Mary, Mrs. Warrington' s ?naid. 
Mrs. Cummings, ) 

Mrs. Green, } Frimds °f Mrs ~ Warrin S ton - 

Mary, a servant. 

Other ladies at Mrs. Warrington's tea. 




Copyright, 1900, by Walter H. Baker & Co. 



k 



A Detective in Petticoats 



ACT I 

SCENE. — Mrs. Warrington's dressing-room. Mrs. War- 
rington seated at dressing-table R., dressed for a ball. 
Maid is doing her hair. Octavia on sofa l., front, read- 
ing, in tea-gown. Bookcase above her. 

Mrs. W. How slow you are to-night, Mary. It must be 
time to go. Octavia, do leave off reading just one moment, 
and see if Jack is ready. {Exit Octavia, still reading, r.) 
How can she be so absorbed in that awful book? Why, the 
words themselves make me so dizzy, that I have never found 
out whether they mean anything or not. 

Enter Octavia r. 

Oct. Jack says that the less often he is interrupted, the 
sooner he will be ready. (Seats herself again, reading.) 

Mrs. W. Why, what nonsense ! (Runs to door r. and 
calls.) Jack, you declared you'd be dressed first, and now 
I've got to wait for you half an hour, I suppose, with nothing 
whatever to do. What? Well, why shouldn't I be excited ? 
Besides, I'm not a bit excited to-night. 1 dare say it will be a 
great bore. We want to go early, so we can come home early, 
and receive the baroness. How soon will you be ready, Jack? 
Fifteen minutes? Oh, dear, do hurry! Who, I? Oh, I'm 
almost ready. {Runs back and sits.) Finish as quickly as 
you can, Mary. 

Oct. Don't you want me to read this chapter while you 
are waiting? # 

Mrs. W. What a good idea ! I was wondering how I ever 
could get time to finish it. I don't know how 1 could get 
along without you, Octavia, to keep me up with the movement 
of the age. There are so many things to think of, nowadays. 



4 A DETECTIVE IN PETTICOATS. 

Here's "A Short Cut Through Religion/' and a report from 
" The Society for Feline Emancipation from Vivisection," and 
a pamphlet on " Bonesetting by Theosophic Methods," and 
this long article on " Psychology of the Lungs," all to be read 
and sent on this week. 

Maid. Please, ma'am, if you could sit still, one minute- — — 

Mrs. W. Oh, yes, well. Go on, Octavia. 

Oct. (reads). " Chapter One " 

Mrs. W. By the way, the baroness is very literary, Octa- 
via ; you will find her very congenial. Her letters are written 
in the most beautiful English. You would never imagine she 
had never been in America. One reason I want to get all 
these books read before to-morrow, is that I shall feel so left 
out in the cold, when you talk together. 

Oct. Then, hadn't I better begin to read ? 

Mrs. W. Oh, yes, that's a dear. She can speak eight 
languages, you know. • 

Oct. Who? 

Mrs. W. Cousin Lydia. I suppose I must call her that, if 
she is a baroness, — and Frances says she dresses beautifully, 
I suppose she will be in exquisite mourning, and bring a maid. 
I hope she won't think us very primitive. 

Oct. Why should she? I don't think I shall care for her. 

Mrs. W. Why, what are you saying? She's a baroness ! 
I think I will put a few more books in her room. Where's 
" Mill's Political Economy " ? 

Oct. I am reading it to you — or, rather, I haven't had a 
chance to read a word of it, yet. Shall I begin ? {Reads.) 
"Chapter One" 

Mrs. W. Wait just one minute, and tell me how my hair 
looks. {Takes hand-glass.) Oh, I don't like it at all, do you, 
Octavia? Why, the feathers don't match the dress, and it 
looks so stiff! Don't you hate it, Octavia? 

Oct. {without looking up). Yes. 

Mrs. W. I knew you would. I wish I'd had the flowers, 
instead. Isn't there time to change? There are the flowers 
on the table, Mary. Wait, let's see again. Yes, it's perfectly 
horrid. Take the feathers out, as quick as you can. What 
would you do, Octavia? ' 

Oct. I don't know. What difference does it make? 
Evelyn, do you care to hear the rest of the chapter ? 

Mrs. W. Certainly I do. It's so interesting. I had for- 
gotten all about it. Where were we ? {Runs to door r. and 






A DETECTIVE IN PETTICOATS. 5 

calls .) Jack, which do you like best in my hair, feathers or 
flowers? No, you needn't say you like either, — you've got to 
decide. Feathers? Oh, Jack, how can you? Why, they're 
hideous, and I've just taken them all out. Y.ou don't really 
like feathers best, do you ? Just wait till you see the other 
way. I'm sure you'll like it, — and I can't wear those feathers, 
even for your sake. {Sits again.*) 

Oct. Well, are you ready? {Reads.) "In every depart- 
ment of human affairs, practice long precedes science." 

Mrs. W. Speaking of science, that reminds me, I must find 
out from Jack, to-night, the address of that medium he went to 
see, — the one he spoke of as such a fraud, the night the pro- 
fessor was here. Do you remember ? 

Oct. Yes, but I don't see what a medium has to do with 
this book. 

Mrs. W. Oh, don't stop to argue. You are always say- 
ing, Octavia, that it is the duty of every woman to investigate 
these matters for herself. And so as everybody is having a 
seance at her house now, I don't mean to be left out, whether 
Jack approves or not. Octavia, you get the address for me. 
Jack won't suspect you of believing in anything. {Exit Octa- 
via r.) I wish I could make Octavia take an interest in men, 
and society. I don't see how she is ever going to marry if she 
goes on in this way. 

Reenter Octavia r. 

Oct. Jack is walking up and down the hall, and looking 
very savage. He says he has called you six times, and wants 
to know if you are ever going to be ready. 

Mrs. W. Dear me, of course I'm ready. Hurry, Mary, 
put my cloak on. Where are my gloves? {Calls.) I'm 
coming, Jack. How could I know it was so late ? How long 
has he been waiting, Octavia ? 

Oct. He says, half an hour; and he remarked that he 
would be hanged if he would ever take you at your word again. 

Mrs. W. How unkind ! I'm sure I'm always the one to 
wait. Did you get my fan and slippers? Oh, dear, I know 
it will be stupid! I've a great mind not to go! {Calls.) 
Yes, Jack. {To Octavia.) Good-bye, dear. You'll sit up 
for Cousin Lydia, won't you? {Calls.) Yes, Jack, I'm com- 
ing. [£xit Mrs. Warrington l. 

Maid. Are you going to be reading here long, miss? (r.) 

Oct. (l.) No, I think not, Mary. You may put the other 



( 



6 A DETECTIVE IN PETTICOATS. 

books away. I don't know how it is, but I find it hard to de- 
vote myself to intellectual pursuits away from college. 

Maid. I'm sure, miss, you're studying all the time. And 
just look at all the books you've written ! {Points to bookcase?) . 

Oct. You don't understand. That's only one book. 

Maid. One ! Why, count them, miss. 

Oct. Yes, but they're all alike. I keep a few copies to 
give my friends. I never wrote but this one book, on Woman's 
Suffrage, and I'm sorry to say it's not very popular in New 
York. This is such a frivolous atmosphere. 

Maid. I'm sure, miss, they say it's very good air for the 
lungs. 

Oct. Possibly. But what I complain of, Mary, is that I 
am so much looked up to as a superior being, that I am never 
invited out anywhere. My sister's friends try to be polite, 
and ask my opinion on the origin of species, perhaps, but after 
that, they drop me. I have never been invited out to dinner, 
and I've not talked to a man since I left college. Are all col- 
lege women treated so badly here, Mary ? 

Maid. I don't knowj miss. I never saw one before. But 
you're not near so awful as they said, miss. 

Oct. Thank you, Mary. 
_ Maid. If you was dressed up nicely, like other people, miss, 
if you'll excuse my saying so, you'd find people behaved quite 
different. (Octavia looks at her gown in surprise.*) And as 
to gentlemen, miss, I know one gentleman as is dying to speak 
to you. 

Oct. Dying to speak to me ! A gentleman ! Who is he ? 

Maid (mysteriously). It's a secret, miss. I haven't seen 
him myself, only his young man, as brought the note. 

Oct. What note ? I have not received any. 

Maid. Law, miss, here it is. I had to wait till Mrs. War- 
rington was out of the way. The young man was most par- 
ticular you should have it when you was alone; (Hands 
note.) 

Oct. (no Ids it unopened). A clandestine correspondence ! 
What shall I do with it? 

Maid. Why, read it, miss. 

Oct. But it is very wrong to receive a note from a strange 
gentleman. The dean told me so. 

Maid. Ah, miss, but he's not a stranger. He used to 
know Mrs. Warrington. 

Oct. Oh, if he knows my sister, I can ask her all about it. 



A DETECTIVE IN PETTICOATS. 



7, 



Maid. Oh, you mustn't do that, miss. Charles, — that's the 
young man, and a most respectable and perlite young man he 
is, — Charles says that his master will be ruinated if his friends 
know he is in New York. 

Oct. That's very strange. 

Maid. He has enemies here, and you must promise not to 
betray him, please, and the note will explain it all. 

Oct. And does he tell his name? {Opens note, reads.} 
" Count Otto von Walden." Yes, I remember Evelyn's speak- 
ing of Otto von Walden. They used to be friends before he 
returned to Germany. Then I suppose I can read it. You 
may go, Mary. 

Maid (disappointed). I'd better wait for the answer, 
hadn't I, miss? • 

Oct. Oh, is there an answer ? (Reads.) " My dear Miss 
Frothingham, — I venture to address you without a formal in- 
troduction, for you have seemed a friend to me ever since I 
read your admirable essay in favor of Woman's Suffrage." Ah ! 
(Looks at bookcase ; reads.) " I am an exile from my native 
land, banished by my political enemies for holding opinions 
like your own." How interesting, Mary! (Reads.) " For 
years I have yearned in vain for sympathy. Now, my admira- 
tion breaks conventional bonds, and I perish unless I meet thee, 
my lofty guiding star ! " This sounds like Shelley. (Reads.) 
" I watch for you at street corners : I dare not come to see you 
openly. My admiration must be a secret between us two, for 
the present. But at the Military Ball, to-night, I can move un- 
noticed in the crowd, and there let me meet thee, oh, my 
adored one ! " At the ball ! What does he mean? I never 
go to balls. I disapprove of them. 

Maid. It's time you should go, miss. How can you tell 
whether you disapprove of them, if you've never been? 

Oct. That is true. Balls are vanity. But I must investi- 
gate them for myself, sometime. (Reads.) "Wear my red 
roses to the ball, dearest, and do not let them leave your hand. 
By them, I shall recognize thee from afar." 

Maid. Some lovely red roses came with the note. H 

Oct. (reads). " You will know your slave by his tall 
figure, dark complexion, and eyes for you alone." I am glad 
he is dark. (Reads.) " Oh, my angel, do not refuse me! 
Let me see you sparkling with jewels and outshining all others 
at the ball. If I do not meet you to-night, life's weary journey 
will end for me ! Thine till death, Count Otto von Walden." 



8 A DETECTIVE IN PETTICOATS. 

This is the most embarrassing note I ever received. Really, 
this poor man writes as if he were in love, you know. It's like 
Romeo and Juliet. What would the dean say ? 

Maid. I'm sure, he's very polite. 

Oct. But he writes such fervid, passionate words ! And 
he calls me "angel." I don't think I like it. 

Maid. I'm sure you do, miss. 

Oct. And he is so mysterious, — and so presuming ! The 
idea of asking me to go to the ball ! 

Maid. Why shouldn't you go, miss ? 

Oct. I haven't got any dress. 

Maid. A gown of Mrs. Warrington's would fit you, miss. 
Just try it, and see. 

Oct. No, indeed ! It is impossible. 

Maid. Well, I can only say, miss, I shouldn't think you'd 
want the gentleman's death on your hands. 

Oct. What do you mean ? 

Maid. It will be your fault if he kills himself. You know 
what he said. You read it yourself. " Life's journey is going 
to end if you don't come to the ball." 

Oct. You don't mean that he will commit suicide? 

Maid. That's what he says. " Yours till death." 

Oct. How dreadful ! I can't allow that. 

Maid. No, miss. You'll have to go to the ball. 

Oct. But I don't know anybody there ! It's cruel of him 
to ask it. 

Maid. You'll be all right. He'll take care of you. And, 
goodness me, you've never seen his lovely red roses. 'Twould 
be a shame to waste 'em. I put them into water in here, miss. 
{Points r.) 

Oct. I suppose I must look at them. [Exit R. 

Maid. There, I've fixed her ! She's sure to go, now. Mrs. 
Warrington's dress is lying all ready on the bed. She'll be at 
the ball in half an hour, and I'll get my five dollars from the 
gent, sure enough. {Bell rings.) There's the door-bell! 
Good gracious, it must be the Baroness von Edelweis. We'd 
forgotten all about her. Now what'll I do ? I must keep her 
clear of Miss Octavia. I know ! I'll smuggle her up here, till 
Miss Octavia' s out of the house. [Exit L. 

{Then, ushers up Georgie Napper, who has a dress-suit- 
case. Maid has a telegram in her hand.) 

Maid. This way, if you please, ma'am. Mrs. Warrington 



A DETECTIVE IN PETTICOATS. g 

said I was to bring you right up here, and make you com- 
fortable. 

Geor. {surprised). That so ? I was expected, was I ? 

Maid. Oh, dear, yes, ma'am. Miss Octavia was waiting 
for you ever so long. But I'm afraid she's given you up, and 
gone out, now. 

Geor. Is anybody at home ? 

Maid. No, ma'am, — not just now. Is there anything lean 
do for you, ma'am? Will I bring you a cup of tea? 

Geor. Thanks, much. I'll just wait here till the lady 
comes, since you say she expected me. She didn't leave any 
message, I suppose? {Looks among papers on tabled) 

Maid. No, ma'am, — except " she'd be back soon." Are you 
looking for something, ma'am? ^ 

Geor. I thought there might be a note lying 'round. 
{Looks toward telegram.) 

Maid. For you, ma'am? No, ma'am. This is only a 
telegram for Mrs. Warrington. {Puts telegram on mantel.) 

Geor. I suppose the ladies do get notes sometimes, eh ? — 
from gentlemen? 

Maid. Oh, dear, no, ma'am, — how could you think so? 
Miss Octavia is a college woman. 

Geor. The devil she is ! Then she's dead sure to be the 
one who receives secret notes from a strange gentleman. You 
needn't be afraid of me. Just say, didn't she get a note to- 
night ? 

Maid. • No, baroness. 

Geor. {turns on her in surprise). See here, don't be 
saucy. You won't do any good by a lie, either. I know of a 
note that came to this house to-night. You could save me a 
lot of time, and do your mistress a service, if you will get that 
note for me. Will you ? 

Maid. There isn't any note, ma'am. I'd be glad to please 
you any way I could. 

Geor. Oh, all right ! If you won't, you won't. I'll have 
to wait for your mistress. Guess I will have a cup of tea, since 
you're so obliging. {Sits.) 

Maid. Certainly, baroness. 

Geor. {aside). Why does she call me that ? 

Maid {aside; at door l.). That's the last way I expected 
a baroness to look. But they do say all the Royal family of 
England is just such frumps. \Exit l, 

Geor. {Jumps up). Now I've got rid of her, I'll just look 



10 A DETECTIVE IN PETTICOATS. 

'round for myself. (Looks at notes on table. Opens desk, and 
looks over contents while she talks.) I say, it's too bad to have 
my game blocked by that mule of a maid, when I've done so 
well up to now. There aren't many detectives on the force, 
that could have tracked Burglar Bill from Chicago, as I did, 
with nothing but his photo and his handwriting. Wish I could 
find that note he sent here. What's this? {Takes telegram 
from mantel, and opens it skilfully.) I think I'll take the 
liberty. Pshaw ! Nothing about Burglar Bill ! From a baro- 
ness, — the Baroness Lydia von Edelweis. {Reads.) " To my 
unknown cousins. Alas ! The train is delayed. I -will come 
to-morrow night." Unknown cousins!' Stop a jiff! I have 
it now. What a joke ! An unknown baroness cousin is ex- 
pected here, when I turn up instead, and the maid naturally 
mistakes me for the baroness. I thought she was over-polite. 
I wonder if I could keep it up. I declare, I've half a mind to 
try. Nobody has read this telegram. {Tuts it in her pocket.) 
It would be so convenient to stay here, right on the spot, and 
find out Bill's little game, — what name he has assumed. Per- 
haps I can catch him myself in this very house. I'll do it ! 
I can play baroness for one day. What nuts it will be, 
when they find I am only Georgie Napper, the detective ' I 
don't care, if I can only nab my man. {Enter Octavia r., 
in party gown, with college gown hanging on her arm, carry- 
ing a bunch of roses ; reading the note.) Jimminy Cricks ! 
Here's the lady ! {Shuts desk and comes forward.) I declare 
she's got a note in her hand ! 

Oct. Mercy ! Who is this ? {Hurriedly puts on college 
gown over the other.) 

Geor. {affectedly). Ah, you are surprised to see me. I am 
your baroness cousin, Lydia von — von 

Oct. You are the Baroness von Edelweis ! How queer ! 
I mean, — I am very glad to see you. Do sit down. {They 
sit.) 

Geor. Your maid brought me up here. 

Oct. That's right. I was expecting you. At least, I had 
forgotten all about you. But never mind. Pray make your- 
self at home. 

Enter Maid l., and stands aghast. 

Geor. She said you were out. 

Oct. Oh, no ! Mary was mistaken. I never go out. 

Maid, I'm sure, Miss Octavia, I thought you were gone. 



A DETECTIVE IN PETTICOATS. II 

I heard' the carriage drive up. It is getting so late, the ball 
will be nearly over, if you don't hurry. 

Geor. Oh, — are you going to a ball? 

Oct. No, indeed. I never go to balls. Evelyn must have 
told you that I am a college woman. 

Geor. Oh, yes. {Aside.) I don't think ! {Aloud.) 
Where is the ball ? 

Oct. Nowhere. I never intended to go at all, really. 
And now, of course, I shall stay at home, with you. 

Maid {to Oct a via ; aside). You'll never give up the ball, 
miss ! Suppose the gentleman should be killing his-self ! 
{Aloud.) Perhaps the baroness is tired, and would be glad to 
be left alone, and have some supper in her room. 

Oct. {eagerly). To be sure ! How thoughtless I am ! You 
must be tired, after your journey. Don't let me keep you up. 
Why don't you let your maid unpack, and help you right to 
bed? 

Geor. My maid ! Oh, my maid and my baggage will be 
here later. I'm not at all tired, thanks, only very glad to see 
my dear cousin. {Embraces Octavia, and tries to reach note, 
which Octavia puts behind her back.) What lovely flowers, 
my dear ! Who sent them ? 

Oct. Nobody. At least, nobody in particular. 

Geor. Bet they're from the same gentleman who wrote 
that note. What did he want, Mary ? Was she going to the 
ball with him, if I hadn't turned up? 

Oct. No, baroness, believe me. I never took it into con- 
sideration. He only asked me to wear the flowers in case I 
should go. 

Geor. Oh, is that all ? He is generally more pressing than 
that. 

Oct. What do you mean ? Do you know him ? 

Geor. Know him? I should think I did! Bet I know 
a great deal more about him than you do. 

Oct. Really ' And you knew he was in New York? He 
said nobody knew it. 

Geor. Nobody does, but me and you. 

Oct. Then you know his secrets ? 

Geor. All of them. 

Oct. Oh, how fortunate ! Then there can't be any harm 
in my showing you this note, and you can advise me. I am 
so puzzled and worried ! {Gives note.) 

Geor. The dear, familiar writing ! My old friend Count 



12 A DETECTIVE IN PETTICOATS. 

Otto von Walden. {Aside.) So, that's the name Burglar Bill 
has assumed ! {Reads note ; front.) 

Oct. You, who know him so well, can tell me if he's really 
likely to do it, — in case I refuse to come. You see what he 
says. Do you think he will really commit suicide ? 

Geor. (hurriedly finishing note). Not a doubt of it, my 
dear. He always does ! You'd better not keep him waiting. 
Come, take off that old thing. You're all dressed, and ready 
for the ball. {Takes off college gown.) 

Oct. I can't go like this. You don't know how queer I 
feel. 

Maid. You look lovely, miss. 

Geor. Don't stop to talk. Here, take your flowers, and 
come on ! (Maid and Geqrgie wrap her up.) Hurry ! We 
may be too late. 

Oct. Why, where are you going ? 

Geor. Oh, I'm going along to help you. 

Oct. No, no ! You are very kind, but I won't trouble 
you. 

Geor. No trouble — I should like to go. I shouldn't mind 
catching a glimpse of Count Otto von Walden, myself. 

Oct. But you're not dressed for a ball ! 

Geor. My dear, it doesn't matter a bit how I'm dressed. 
The important point is not to lose an instant, if we want to 
catch your Count Otto von Walden. Come, take a brace ! 
There you go ! {Exit Octavia, hurried out by Maid.) 
Hurrah ! I'm on his track, at last. 



CURTAIN. 






ACT II 

SCENE. — Alcove of a ballroom. Waltz played in wings. 
Window-seat at back, with window looking into ballroom, 
and heads and shoulders of couples dancing by. Sofa r. 
Table, with punch-bowl and glasses l. Octavia sitting on 
window -s eat ; Georgie dancing by herself, or with chair at 
front. 

Oct. I'm sorry I don't know any one to introduce to you, 
baroness. If I could only see my sister, — she knows every- 
body. 

Geor. Oh, never mind me ! It's funny your count makes 
himself so scarce. You ought to move about, as I do, and let 
him see you're here. 

Oct. Oh, no, I couldn't, all alone. Oh, why doesn't he 
come? 

Enter Servant, with note. 

Serv. (to Georgie). I was looking fpr a lady with a big 
bokay of red roses. 

Geor. There's the big red bokay. What do you want? 
Serv. (to Octavia). A note for you, ma'am. 

(Gives note to Octavia, and exit l. Octavia comes to 
front. Georgie peeks over her shoulder. ) 

Oct. From him ! 

Geor. (aside). Bill's writing, again ! He's a great one 
for notes. Why don't he show himself? 

Oct. (on sofa). Excuse me, baroness. It is marked 
" strictly private." 

Geor. (disappointed). That so? Well, don't mind me. 
(Aside.) Guess I'll have a look, then. Lucky I've practiced 
reading backwards. (Produces hand-mirror from her pocket, 
stands back to, behind Octavia, behind sofa, and reads aloud.) 
" Adored one ! I see you, but cannot speak to you, yet. Every 
movement is watched by my political enemies." Jimminy 
Cricks! Has he caught on to my watching for him? "If 
fate throws us together, do not betray that you ever heard my 

J 3 



14 A DETECTIVE IN PETTICOATS. 

name. But do not desert me, I implore you. Wait an hour, 
and I can make everything plain. Thine, Otto." (Comes to 
front?) It is just possible he has spotted me as a detective. 
My ! but he's a sharp one. It's best to clear out, just now. 
(Creeps softly out R.) 

Oct. (reads). "If fate throws us together, do not betray 
that you ever heard my name. " Wait for me an hour." An 
hour more, all alone, while any moment something dreadful 
maybe happening to him! Oh! I can't bear the suspense. 
( Weeps into handkerchief.) 

Enter Mrs. Warrington, hurriedly, l. 

Mrs. W. (speaking to some one outside). Excuse me, one 
moment. (To Octavia.) Octavia Frothingham ! What in 
the world are you doing here? I saw you sitting all alone, 
way across the room. What could make you come alone? 
You don't know a soul ! — and I was just bringing my partner 
over to you, in the greatest haste, when I saw you were crying, 
you goosie ! What has happened? Do try to stop! I'm 
sure people are looking. There, now you are all right, I'll call 
him in. It will never do for my sister to be seen sitting all 
alone. Mind you talk nicely to him, — a dear boy! Just 
back from Germany, . to-day ! You've heard me speak of him. 
Count Otto von Walden ! 

Oct. (screams). No ! No ! I can't meet him. 

Mrs. W. What is the matter ? Do you know him ? 

Oct. No ! Oh, no, indeed ! 

Mrs. W. Then what are you screaming at? (A short 
pause.) Octavia Frothingham, if you are such a baby that 
you are afraid to meet a man, I've nothing more to say to you. 

[Exit Mrs. Warrington l. 

Oct. Stop, Evelyn ! Come back ! She's gone. Oh, what 
shall I do? If I speak to him, I shall betray him to his ene- 
mies. But if I go away he will kill himself. Stay ! There is 
but one way. I must be calm, and cold, and meet him as if 
we were utter strangers. (Rises, drops flowers, and goes to 
door l.) Here they come. Why, he told me he was tall and 
dark and handsome; and he's nothing but a light-haired boy. 
Can this be my Otto ? 

Enter Mrs. Warrington, l., just inside door. 

Mrs. W. Octavia, this is Count Otto von Walden. And 
this is my sister Octavia, Otto. You must be good friends. 



A DETECTIVE IN PETTICOATS. 1 5 

Now, I'm sure she would like to see the conservatories. (Oc- 
tavia bows coldly.') [Exit Octavia, l. 

Enter Mrs. Cummings, r., who shakes hands with Mrs. War- 
rington. 

Mrs. W. How do you do, my dear? Let's sit down here 
together, and have a nice little talk. You and I are getting 
too old for this kind of thing, my dear. In fact, I should not 
think of coming, if it wasn't for Jack. He is so frivolous ! 

{They sit. Mrs. Warrington picks up Octavia's flowers.) 

Mrs. C. Where is Jack, by the way? I haven't seen him. 

Mrs. W. (aside). He can't have danced with her. {Aloud.) 
He's better than I could ask, — that is to say, he is so busy, 
and tired, and it makes it very embarrassing, — but then, he 
never dances at these crowded places, not even with me. 

Mrs. C. Ah, you could hardly expect that, my dear \ he 
enjoys the conservatories, where the young girls are. 

Mrs. W. {forcing a smile). Speaking of conservatories, do 
you know of a good washerwoman ? 

Mrs. C. No, but Mrs. Lyman does. Did you hear about 
her diamonds being stolen ? 

Mrs. W. {enthusiastically). No! How? 

Mrs. C. Why, at the ball last night. She had been danc- 
ing all the evening, and when she reached the dressing-room, 
her diamonds were gone ! So they must have been taken by 
some one at the ball. But the strange part of it was that she 
knew every gentleman in the room ! 

Mrs. W. Why, it's just like the " Social Highwayman" ! 
You've read it? Perhaps it will turn out in the same way. 
He shot himself, or something, when his wife died, — no, his 
mother, — and all before the friends he had been robbing, and 
the girl he was engaged to. He robbed her, afterward. Dread- 
ful, wasn't it? And very like this case ! If I were Mrs. Ly- 
man, I should keep it secret, and not let it spread. 

Enter Servant, l., with note. 

Serv. (aside). There's the very same big, red bokay. {To 
Mrs. Warrington; aloud.) A note for you, ma'am. 

[Exit Servant, l. 

Mrs. W. For me! {Crosses to centre.) Who can it be 
from ? From Jack, probably. Only, what could he have to 



1 6 A DETECTIVE IN PETTICOATS. 

write about ? Perhaps he thinks I ought to be dancing, but I 
shall tell him that I am quite too old and tired. And if he 
wants me to dance, why doesn't he ask me himself? It's really 
unkind of him ! 

Mrs. C. Are you sure that's what he means? 

Mrs. W. Oh, I'm sure, but I may as well look. {Lays 
down flowers and opens note?) Why it's not Jack's hand ! 
Who can he have asked to write for him ? {Reads.) " Dear- 
est : Come and meet me at once at the Metropolitan station. 
No time to explain. I must tell you all there. Forgive me, 
— only come ! It is a matter of life and death ! " Why, how 
strange ! Something must have happened. I hope it's not a 
duel, or a gambling debt ! To be sure, Jack doesn't gamble ! 
Good-bye, my dear, — I am so worried, and flurried, — you'll 
pour at my tea to-morrow, to meet my cousin, the Baroness 
von Edelweis, you know ? You will be charmed with her, my 
dear. She's so companionable, and very handsome. The 
classical style, you know, lofty and reserved. And money, my 
dear, she's rolling in money ! I believe she is very intellec- 
tual, and I have been reading all kinds of scientific books, so 
as to make a good impression on her. 

Mrs. C. Why, haven't you ever met her? 

Mrs. W. No, my dear. Just think, how romantic! We 
expect her to-night. By the way, I wonder where she is ! 
Octavia was to stay at home, to receive her. 

Mrs. C. But Octavia is here. How did you persuade her 
to come ? I thought she hated society ! 

Mrs. W. She does, — but I suppose on account of the 
baroness she had to come to-night, — but I wonder what she's 
done with her ! 

Mrs. C. Perhaps Jack has sent for you to meet the baroness 
at the station. 

Mrs. W. That's it ! I've a great mind not to go ! But 
perhaps she has broken her leg, and he wants to leave me with 
her while he goes for the doctor. Poor thing ! You don't 
mind my hurrying off ? 

Mrs. C. Oh, not at all, my dear. {Exit Mrs. Warring- 
ton, l.) Here comes Octavia Frothingham, now, with that 
little German count Evelyn Warrington has picked up. I 
wonder if she will introduce him. Evelyn tries to keep him to 
herself. 

Enter Octavia ; speaks to some one outside L. 



A DETECTIVE IN PETTICOATS. 1 7 

Oct. Yes, thank you very much. It's awfully kind of you. 
I should be glad to go home, now. If you will order the car- 
riage, I will wait here till you come back. 

[Exit Mrs. Cummings, disappointed, r. 

Enter Georgie, r. 

Geor. Hullo, my dear ! Here I am again ! Met your 
count, yet? Funny I can't see him anywhere. Whew! 
What did you let go your flowers for? Don't you remember? 
It was by the red roses that he was to know you. 

Oct. Oh, my flowers ! I hope he did not think I scorned 
them. 

Geor. There ! Don't drop them again. 

(Mrs. Warrington enters, and stands aghast, as Georgie 
gives Octavia a slap on the back.) 

Mrs. W. Who is this person ? 

Oct. The baroness, Evelyn ! Cousin Lydia, my sister, 
Mrs. Warrington, (r.) 

Mrs. W. {taken aback). Cousin Lydia ! How delighted I 
am to see you ! This is better than I expected. I can only 
regret that I was not at home to receive you myself. ( Very 
suavely.*) And where did you leave the baron? 

Geor. {aside). Oh, good gracious ! Have I got a hus- 
band? {Aloud.) The baron? Oh, it was impossible to bring 
him, you know, (r.) 

Mrs. W. To bring him Oh, yes, I suppose he could 

hardly leave his young wife. Did they come far with you ? 

Geor. Only to New York. 

Mrs. W. What, that long voyage across? What devotion, 
my dear cousin ! And why can't they come and see us? Do 
they stay long ? 

Geor. They return to-night. 

{They sit on sofa r. Octavia wanders about, restlessly, 
and keeps looking out of door, L.) 

Mrs. W. Dear me, how devoted you Germans are ! Two 
long voyages, just for one night in New York ! And how are 
all our relations across the sea ? 

Geor. Much the same, cousin, thank you. 

Mrs. W. Your mother 

Geor. Finely, thanks. 



1 8 A DETECTIVE IN PETTICOATS. 

Mrs. W. Is she still living, then? We saw her death an- 
nounced. But papers are so inexact ! 

Geor. Ah, you are quite right. I thought it was my 
mother-in-law you spoke of. 

Mrs. W. Dear me, how strange ! I don't think you ever 
mentioned her to me. Does she live with you ? 

Geor. She has no one home. Her son, you know, my 

(Aside. ) Have I got a husband, or not, anyway ? ( Takes 

out handkerchief ; aloud.*) You must excuse me. The cir- 
cumstances are painful 

Mrs. W. Ah, forgive me, dear cousin ! (Takes her 
hand.) And how are — are — politics there? 

Geor. Oh, very much mixed. It has been dreadfully ex- 
citing. No one fully understands the state of affairs but my- 
self. 

Mrs. W. How very interesting, baroness! (Yawns.) 
You must explain it all to me. I am very fond of politics, but 
I have not often so intelligent an instructor. To-morrow, 
when you are rested. (Rises.) 

Geor. Thanks, I am not at all tired, and in an hour or 
two I dare say I can make you understand. It is, as you say, 
very interesting. 

Mrs. W. So kind, baroness! -(Crosses to Octavia, l.) 
Octavia, you and Cousin Lydia will be twin souls. (Aside ; 
to Octavia. ) Talk to her a little while — I am so sleepy ; I 
can't think of anything to say. (Looking at note in her hand ; 
aloud. ) Speaking of notes, my dear cousin 

Geor. Good work ! Get , a gait on ! Excuse me, dear 
cousin, — I see by your face that I used an unusual word, f 
got it from my guide-book. But they are so unreliable ! You 
must help me. 

Mrs. W. Certainly, baroness. But any expression you 
use, baroness, is correct. 

Geor. Thanks. Go ahead. 

(Georgie and Mrs. Warrington sit on sofa. ) 

Mrs. W. I was going to tell you of an adventure I had to- 
night. It is nothing, but it will pass the time, — I mean — at 
least, it will amuse you. No, not amuse, — but 

Geor. Oh, certainly ! 

Mrs. W. Well, I was sitting on this sofa, talking with a 
friend, about — I forget what, exactly. I shouldn't wonder if 
it was Jack ! No, let me see ! We had both been preserving 



A DETECTIVE IN PETTICOATS. 19 

fruit, and Oh, there is a reduction in winter coats, at 

Stearns's, Octavia ! 

Geor. And did anything happen ? 

Mrs. W. When? Oh, yes, as I was saying, a note was 
handed to me. 

Geor. A note? 

Mrs. W. Yes. Strangely enough, it was not addressed, but 
the maid assured me that it was for me. I thought it was from 
Jack, but now I believe it was all a mistake. I did not notice 
at the time, but it is signed " O. von W." The note was for 
some one else, I think, because Jack wasn't at the station — 
And — why, you are here ! Or, did Jack meet you there ? 

Geor. Me ? No ! No one met me at the station. 

Mrs. W. Why, how dreadful ! But it was all a mistake, I 
assure you. 

Geor. But, the note ? 

Mrs. W. Yes, indeed, the note, — here it is. No wonder 
I thought Jack was a little off, as usual. 

Geor. {reads note). Ah, I see how it was ! You were hold- 
ing Octavia' s flowers ! (r.) 

Mrs. W. What did you say, Cousin Lydia? (c.) 

Geor. Nothing. {Aside; to Octavia.) Note meant for 
you, of course. 

Oct. (takes note). Oh! (Aside; l.) Count Otto's writing ! 
(Reads aloud.) " Meet me at the Metropolitan station. It is 
a matter of life and death." (Aside.) He must be waiting 
there for me. I hope there is time to prevent his doing any- 
thing desperate. \_Exit Octavia, l., running. 

Mrs. W. I don't wonder you are surprised. I was. I 
knew Jack was dead, or he'd never send for me in such a way, 
so I hurried to the station, and no Jack was there, — no one 
but a tall, dark, foreign looking man who glared at me, and 
paced, impatiently, up and down. 

Geor. (aside ; rises). That's my man, sure pop! (Aloud.) 
And then ? 

Mrs. W. Then I came back. 

Geor, And the man, — the foreigner ? 

Mrs. W. I don't know, I'm sure. I think Ke was waiting 
for somebody. 

Geor. Yes, I rather think he was ! (Aside,) Perhaps there 
is time to catch him ! (Aloud.) Excuse me ! I must run and 
help your sister. _ [Exit Georgie l., running, 

Mrs. W. (rising). Where have they gone? Octavia must 



20 A DETECTIVE IN PETTICOATS. 

have fainted ! Octavia ! No. I've got it ! I noticed the 
baroness was agitated ! It must be that ! I guessed ivall 
along ! This foreigner I saw at the station just now, — he 
really looked very like a German, — he is some old lover of the 
baroness's, and has followed her to New York and doesn't 
know where to find her ! Poor fellow ! I might have helped 
him, if he'd asked me. He must have just arrived at the sta- 
tion, and the baroness was so agitated to hear of it, she ran to 
meet him ! I wonder if he's still there ! 

Enter Servant l. 

Serv. There's a gentleman waiting for Miss Frothingham, 
Mrs. Warrington. He says she asked him to order her car- 
riage, as she wanted to go home. 

Mrs. W. Octavia going home with a gentleman ! Who 
is he? 

Serv. Count Otto von Walden. 

Mrs. W. What, my little Otto ? Well, well, my old 
friend. But, — sly girl ! Who would have suspected it of her ? 

Serv. Do you know where I can find her, Mrs. War- 
rington ? 

Mrs. W. I dare say she may be in the dressing-room. She 
was fainting, I believe — no, that was the baroness, wasn't it? 
Tell Miss Octavia to go right home with him, in my carriage. 
I don't mind waiting at all. {Exit Servant, l.) I won.'t 
spoil a tete-a-tete. I never knew Octavia to do such a thing 
before, but nothing could please me better. Otto is the dearest 
boy, and if Octavia marries him, she will do just what he tells 
her to, and he will break her of her studious habits. I never 
could manage her. These superior girls, when they are caught 
at last, make slaves of themselves, — perfect slaves ! Yes, Otto 
is just the man for Octavia. I will invite him to call to- 
morrow. 

Reenter Servant, l. 

Serv. I can't find Miss Frothingham, ma'am, and here's 
another gentleman hunting for her in the greatest hurry. 

Mrs. W. Another gentleman ! Are you sure ? Do you 
know who it is ? 

Serv. No, ma'am. I knew the first gentleman very well, 
but this one I never saw before. He's very queer, Mrs. War- 
rington, and he won't come in to the light, but he's standing at 
the hall door, all muffled up. 



A DETECTIVE IN PETTICOATS. 



21 



Mrs. W. What, a foreign looking man, tall, and dark, and 
thin? I'll just peek! (Goes to door l.) Yes, it's the very 
man I saw at the station. I wonder if he recognizes me. 
(Bows?) Show him right in. (Exit Servant, l.) I know 
what he has come for. Of course, he's hunting for the baro- 
ness. How lucky I saw him ! I'll keep him till she returns, 
and how grateful she will be ! She will think she has lost him, 
but I will go to meet her, alone, and break it to her. I will 
say, "Dear baroness, be calm ! He is not dead. He lives, 
and loves you as devotedly as ever, for he came here directly 
froni the station. For your sake, I welcomed him with open 
arms." I wonder why he does not come in. What shall I say 
to him ? A stranger and a foreigner. I wonder if he talks 
English ! How mysterious, and romantic ! I don't even know 
his name ! 

Reenter Servant, l. 

Serv. The gentleman has disappeared, maJjam ! By the 
time I reached the door, he was gone, out of sight, entirely. 
Not a sign of him, anywhere ! 

Mrs. W. Gone ! Run and stop him ! Hurry ! Fly ! 
Tell him, the baroness will be here directly. (Exit Servant 
l.) Gone ! How ungrateful ! I was going to help him. 
Gone ! Oh, poor baroness ! She has missed him again ! I'm 
afraid it will break her heart. 



CURTAIN 



ACT III 

SCENE. — Afternoon tea at Mrs. Warrington's. A buzz of 
voices, as the curtain goes up. Sofa l., front. Tea-table, 
r. Mrs. Warrington and Georgie, receiving, r. Ladies 
come and go at l. Mrs. Cummings, pouring. Octavia 
wanders about, absent-mindedly. 

(Georgie comes front, with Mrs. Green and Octavia.) 

Mrs. G. {to Octavia). I shall not dare to ask you to my 
little dinner, Miss Frothingham, for I know you despise such 
frivolities. 

Oct. {eagerly). Oh, not at all, I assure you. 

Mrs. G. Don't apologize ! It's perfectly natural. In fact, 
I sympathize with you, for I am a little literary myself, though 
only in an amateur way. I enjoy reading so much, especially 
science. I can't blame you for preferring to remain at home, 
with your books. (Octavia sits, forlorn, on sofa. To 
Georgie.) But, baroness, I hope I may have the great honor 
and felicity of your company, to-morrow night ? 

Geor. {exaggeratedly polite'). Oh, I'll come, bet your life ! 
There's nothing I like so well as dinners, if the grub is good. 
I get them seldom enough. 

Mrs. G. I am sure, baroness, you have the reputation of 
going to dinners every day. 

Geor. Have I ? Depends on what you call a dinner. 

Mrs. G. I am afraid you are very particular, baroness. 
You must come to me with indulgence, or I shall regret my 
presumption. 

Geor. Oh, that's all right. By the way, have some choco- 
late? It's way up, I can tell you. I always pitch into the 
grub when I get a chance. 

( Goes to table. Sits with feet upon a chair. Eats a great 
deal, as she talks.) 

Mrs. G. (to friend). How charming and unaffected she is ! 

Geor. The last dinner I was at, was after the capture of 

Jim Hackett, of Chicago. He was a terror ! He'd murdered 

22 

LofC. 



A DETECTIVE IN PETTICOATS. 23 

the cashier, you know, and made off to Canada with half a 
million of dollars. You must have read it in the papers. His 
capture was one of the slickest jobs of the year. I would have 
given my ears to have done it myself. Anyhow, you bet we 
had a dinner that night, way up to G ! Oysters, ducks, and 
champagne — makes your mouth water to think of. I've been 
starved, ever since ! 

( Continues to eat a great deal, and talks with the ladies. 
Mrs. CyMMiNGS rises and comes front, trying not to be 
seen laughing. Mrs. Green comes up to her.) 

Mrs. C. Well, my dear, what do you think of the 
baroness ? 

Mrs. G. Oh, she's charming, my dear. So foreign ! 

(Georgie shakes hands with one of the guests. The guests 
begin to depart, while Mrs. Cummings and Mrs. Green 
talk.) 

Mrs. C. Do you call it foreign ? Watch her shake hands. 
Such manners ! You would call her ill-bred, if she hadn't a 
a title ! 

Mrs. G. My dear Mrs. Cummings ! A baroness ill-bred ! 

Mrs. C. And then, such slang ! 

Mrs. G. How can she help talking broken English, my 
dear ? She has never been here before. 

Mrs. C. Never been here before ? Really ! Then, how 
does she happen to be so very familiar with American crimes 
and criminals ? She seems to know about all the burglars in 
the country. 

Mrs. G. My dear, she is interested in America. I heard 
her say so. You may be sure she's all right. She is Mrs. 

Warrington's cousin, and Well, she may be different 

from what you expect, but any German baroness would be. I 
found her very delightful. 

Mrs. C. And so did I. I like to see people make fools of 
themselves ! 

Mrs. G. My dear ! 

Mrs. C. Here she is. (Georgie joins them. Octavia goes 
back to tea-table, and takes a cup. Exit Mrs. Warrington, 
with last guest.) We were just speaking of you, baroness. 

Geor. Good, I hope. {Takes Mrs. Cummings's button- 
hole, and speaks so that Octavia cannot hear.) Say, do you 
know a certain Count Otto von Walden ? 



24 A DETECTIVE IN PETTICOATS. 

Mrs. C. I can't say that I have been permitted that pleas- 
ure. But Octavia seems to know him pretty well. Are they 
engaged ? 

Geor. Engaged ! Oh, come off ! 

Mrs. C. Of course, you know best, baroness. You are 
one of the family. 

Geor. Oh, I? Yes, of course. But I haven't been here 
long enough to investigate much, worse luck. There are so 
many people 'round, all the time. 

Mrs. G. I fear we overstay our welcome, baroness. We 
do not wish to presume on your kindness. It has been so en- 
joyable ! Good-bye. 

Geor. {takes her hand). Oh, say ! I didn't mean that, 
you know. You must forgive my bad English. I am afraid 
you can hardly understand it. 

Mrs. C. On the contrary, baroness, it is most expressive. 
I wonder how you could learn such beautiful English in so 
short a time. I hear this is your first visit. 

Geor. Oh, I had a teacher, of course. (Aside.) I hate 
that woman. {To Mrs. Green.) Say, don't go, quite yet. 
Just have one more cup of tea. Won't ? Well, then, let me 
see you off. 

[Exeunt Georgie and Mrs. Green, arm in arm, l. 

(Mrs. Cummings, coming up behind, at the tea-table, puts her 
hand on Octavia' s shoulder.) 

Mrs. C. What are you thinking about, all alone, Miss 
Frothingham? Am I disturbing some great thought ? 

Oct. Mrs. Cummings ! Won't you — won't you have some 
tea? 

Mrs. C. Thank you, no. I have been pouring, all the 
afternoon. I thought I'd come and speak to you, as you did 
not seem to see me. ( They come forward and sit together, 
on sofa.) How nice of you to condescend to go to the ball 
last night. I heard you hated balls. 

Oct. I have never been to one before. 

Mrs. C. Really ! Was this your first appearance ? How 
you must have enjoyed it ; didn't you ? 

Oct. It was very pretty. I know so few people ! 

Mrs. C. That always makes it pleasant, of course— quality 
rather than quantity. But your sister knows every one. Did 
she introduce some very charming man, — ah ! How you 
blush ! You really looked extremely well, last night. Such a 



A DETECTIVE INT PETTICOATS. 



pretty gown ! Evelyn had one like it, I remember, last 
year. 

Oct. We often dress alike. 

Mrs. C. Ah, I see this was not your first ball, as you had 
a gown last year. I always suspect the innocence of you col- 
lege women. You seemed to find one partner pleasant enough, 
in the conservatory. Don't pretend that you can't remember. 
You acted as if you were old friends, you and Count Otto von 
Walden. 

Oct. Count Otto ? Oh, no. I hardly know him at all. 
(Rises.*) 

Mrs. C. Ah, I've hit the nail on the head ! Don't tell me 
you hardly know him. 

Oct. Upon my word, I never met him till last night. 

Mrs. C. Never till last night ! You made up for lost time, 
then. I saw him myself, with his innocent blue eyes fixed 
most tenderly on you. 

Oct. Mrs. Cummings, believe me, you are mistaken. We 
are almost strangers. 

Mrs. C. Why, this is more serious than I thought. Come, 
sit down, dear, and tell me about this flirtation of yours. 

Oct. No, no, you must excuse me. (Going.) 

Enter Maid, l. 

Maid (to Octavia). Here's a gentleman to see you, 
miss. 

Oct. A gentleman ! Who is it? 

Maid. I forget his name. He used to come to see Mrs. 
Warrington. 

Oct. Hush ! You mean a young, light haired man ? 

Maid. Yes, miss. Mrs. Warrington used to call him 
"Otto." 

Mrs. C. " Otto " ! Oho ! This grows more and more in- 
teresting. Bring " Otto " right in here. Don't mind me. 

Oct. Mrs. Cummings, I shall be much obliged to you if 
you will not meddle with my affairs. I have explained to you 
that I am but slightly acquainted with Count Otto von Walden, 
and that in a most platonic fashion. (To Maid.) Where is 
the gentleman ? 

Maid. In the small reception room. (Joints r.) 

Oct. (aside ; to Maid). Did any of the ladies see him 
come ? 

Maid. No, miss. [Exit Octavia, r. 



26 A DETECTIVE IN PETTICOATS. 

(Maid shuts door for her, and begins to clear up tea-table.) 

Mrs. C. What fools these college women make of them- 
selves ! 

Enter Mrs. Warrington ; comes down stage. 

Mrs. C. What a t>elle your clever sister is, Evelyn. 

Mrs. W. Why, where is she ? 

Mrs. C. Her partner of last night has just called in a most 
platonic fashion. {Enter Georgie.) Ah, baroness ! 

Mrs. W. (to Maid; aside). Little, and light colored? 

Maid. Law, ma'am ! What? 

Mrs. W. What did you do with him ? 

Maid. v Who, ma'am ? 

Mrs. W. Oh, they are in the reception-room, of course. 

Maid. Oh, yes, ma'am. Miss Octavia is there with the 
little, fair gentleman, who used to come to see you. 

Mrs. W. (aside). Good ! It's Otto, just as I suspected. 
How sweet it will sound ! A college woman — yet a happy 
wife ! ♦ 

Mrs. C. (aside). There's no hope of seeing any men, now. 
I might as well go. (Shaking hands with Mrs. Warrington ; 
aloud.) Such a delightful afternoon ! The baroness is charm- 
ing, my dear. [Exeunt Mrs. Cummings, and Maid, l. 

(Mrs. Warrington and Georgie, alone. ) 

Mrs. W. At last, we are alone. I have been trying, all 
day, baroness, to speak to you when no one was by. (r.) 

Geor. Yes, I was afraid so. (l.) 

Mrs. W. There is something very peculiar — at least cu- 
rious Well, perhaps not that, but at all events, interest- 
ing 

Geor. Say it out ! I can stand it. 

Mrs. W. But I wanted to tell you alone, for fear of your 
embarrassment before Octavia. Ah, I have found you out ! 

Geor. That so? Then the least said, the better, I sup- 
pose. Knew it had got to come out before long. How much 
do you know ? 

Mrs. W. Know ? Nothing. But (mysteriously) some one 
called for you at the ballroom, last night, and did not give 
any name. And now, baroness, I am dying of curiosity. 
Tell me, who is he ? 



28 A DETECTIVE IN PETTICOATS. 

{Runs to door r., and locks //.) 

IV^RS. W. What are you doing ? 

Geor. I've got him ! Locked him in ! It's all serene. 
And now, you go for the police, Mrs. Warrington, and I'll 
keep guard. Have you got a pistol ? 

Mrs. W. What? What's the matter? Fire! Murder! 
Thieves ! 

Geor. Shut up ! Keep still, do, for goodness' sake. He'll 
hear you ! 

Mrs. W. Who? 

Geor. Who? Why, the biggest villain, gambler, tnief, 
burglar, in America ! He's worth a million to catch, and I've 
done it ! My name will be in all the papers, and in big type, 
at that ! 

Mrs. W. Goodness gracious ! How did he get into the 
house ? 

Geor. Why, he's been making love to your sister; he 
wanted to marry her and get her money, and he's been 
masquerading as Count Otto von Walden, and going to all your 
balls. 

Mrs. W. Otto ! Oh, I can't believe it. It's too awful ! 
A burglar, and a thief ! 

Geor. And gambler, — and forger, — and a stunning actor. 
Oh, this is nothing to what he can do ! 

Mrs. W. Oh, it's too dreadful ! And to think that I en- 
couraged Octavia ! 

Geor. Don't stop to cry, now, but help me catch him. 
( Writes at table. ) 

(Mrs. Warrington bustles around, and finds a piece of 
string.*) x 

Mrs. W. (in a loud w/iisfler). Can we tie him to a chair? 

Geor. Chair? No ! Send for the police, quick ! Here's 
a note to the captain. (Rings bell. Enter Maid, l., Georgie 
gives her note ; to Maid.) Send that over to the police station. 
Look sharp ! [Exit Maid, l. 

Mrs. W. How clever you are, baroness ! 

Geor. Baroness ! Ha-ha ! I guess there ain't many 
baronesses as smart as me ! I'm just going to peek at him 
through the keyhole. Don't want to scare him till the police 
get here. (Goes to door r.) 

Mrs. W. Stop ! Octavia's in there. I can't have her 



A DETECTIVE IN PETTICOATS. 27 

Geor. Who is who? Hanged if I know where you're 
driving at ! (Rises ; aside.} She still calls me " baroness " ! 
She don't suspect me ! {Aloud.} My dear cousin, I s,hall 
have to ask you to explain. Some one came to see me ? At 
the ball ? 

Mrs. W. Ah, sly one ! The very same man. 

Geor. Same as who ? 

Mrs. W. .Why, the foreigner I saw at the station, waiting 
for you. 

Geor. Waiting for me ? 

Mrs. W. Yes. At least, he did not say anything, but I 
knew what he wanted. And then he came to the ball, im- 
mediately after you had run to meet him at the station. So 
my suspicions were aroused, and I guessed it all. I wish I 
could have kept him, but before I could reach the door he had 
left. 

Geor. Do you mean to say that the foreigner you saw at 
the station came to the ball and asked for me ? 

Mrs. W. Well, the servant thought he asked for Octavia, 
but, of course, I knew he meant you. * Octavia knows none 
but my friends. 

Geor. But he came back to the ball ? Oh, hang it ! Why 
wasn't I there? Oh, I'm lost ! It's all up ! 

Mrs. W. I am so sorry, baroness. Was he a dear friend ? 

Geor. Friend ! It's a good deal better than that ! To 
have come so near it, and failed ! What a fool I was to leave 
the ball. Well, I've lost that chance. 

(Georgie sits in chair, chin on her hands.} 

Mrs. W. I can't bear to see you so distressed, dear baron- 
ess. Tell me about him. What is his name? Have you 
known him long? 

Geor. He and I have been playing hare and hounds, just 
this way, for months ! 

Mrs. W. How romantic ! I must bring you together. I 
love affairs of this kind. Octavia is no comfort to me, at all. 
She has no soul for romance. 

Geor. By the way, where is Octavia? 

Mrs. W. She is engaged, just now, there in the back parlor, 
with Count Otto von Walden. (Points to r. entrance.} 

Geor. Count Otto von Walden! There? Now? You 
don't mean it ! Why didn't you tell me so, before? Jimminy 
Cricks ! 



A DETECTIVE IN "PETTICOATS. 29 

disturbed. Oh, I forgot ! He's only a villain ! (Georgie 
kneels at door, r.) What shall I do? How can I tell Oc- 
tavia ? It will break her heart. (Georgie rises, aghast. ) 

Geor. Who did you say was in there ? 

Mrs. W. Octavia, poor child ! How can we get her out? 
Suppose he used his pistols ! 

Geor. Oh, do shut up! Quick, who's the man? Here, 
peek through the keyhole. That light-haired fellow. 

(Mrs. Warrington kneels down, and peeks.') 

Mrs. W. Oh, dear ! He's holding her hand ! Oh, how 
can I tell her ? 

Geor. Do you call him Count Otto von Walden ? 

Mrs. W. Yes, dear me, of course, it's my dear little Otto. 
So young, and innocent seeming ! 

Geor. Are you cock sure his name is Count Otto von 
Walden? 

Mrs. W. Why, of course ! I've known him as a boy. 

Geor. I'm sold again, then. There must be two Count 
Otto von Waldens ! 

Mrs. W. Two? Why? I don't understand. 

Geor. I tell you, it's just one of Bill's old tricks, to take 
another man's name, behind his back. Here, I'll give you the 
key. You can let the little fellow out. 

Mrs. W. Let him loose ? He might kill us ! 

Geor. That boy ? He's harmless enough. I was looking 
for another Count Otto von Walden, and got left, that's all. 

Mrs. W. Another ! How strange ! Why will not this 
one do ? 

Geor. Because he hasn't committed any crime, worse luck ! 
It's the other one who has done all the mischief I told you of, — 
stealing money and jewels from all you fine people. Well, 
let's take a fresh start. The question is, where is he, now? 

Mrs. W. Who ? 

Geor. Oh, the foreign gentleman you saw at the station. 
My friend, you know ! 

Mrs. W. Oh, dear baroness ! In my alarm, I had com- 
pletely forgotten him. How thoughtless of me ! 

Geor. He's escaped me so many times. I can't afford to 
miss him again. {Puts on hat.) 

Mrs. W. No, indeed ! How eager you must be to see 
him ! {Rises.) But, baroness, suppose, while you were out, 



30 A DETECTIVE IN PETTICOATS. 

he should come to this house ! Then you would miss him, 
just as you did at the ball. 

Geor. I declare, I believe you're right ! He's a fellow 
who never gives up, and if he's still in town, I believe he will 
come here for one more try. Guess I'll stay and keep watch 
for him. 

Mrs. W. (delighted*). If you go into that little room off 
the hall, baroness, you will be quite unobserved. No one ever 
goes in there. 

Geor. That's so! You're a brick! I say, it's a pity 
you're not on the force, Mrs. Warrington ; the door of that 
little room has got a bully lock on it. I tried it. 

Mrs. W. {shocked'). Oh, baroness, I assure you, you shall 
not be disturbed. {Exit Georgie, l.) This is the most 
romantic situation I was ever in ! Two tete-a-tete in the 
house, one upstairs, and one down. {Points up and down.) 
If only there weren't so many burglars around, we should be 
very snug and comfortable. Dear me ! I hope there isn't one 
in the house now ! {Rises, agitated ; looks under table.) 

Enter Octavia, r. 

Oct. Oh, Evelyn, dear ! I'm so happy ! Otto and 



Mrs. W. Let me see. He's not a burglar ! I'm so 
glad ! 

Oct. A burglar ! What do you mean ? 

Mrs. W. Oh, nothing. Only something the baroness was 
telling me about another man. She was going to shoot Otto, 
instead ! 

Oct. Evelyn ! Are you crazy ? Why should she shoot 
anybody ? 

Mrs W. It's her kindness of heart, my dear. He was thfc 
worst burglar, murderer, and actor, in the country, and she 
mistook him for Otto. 

Oct. For Otto ! How could she ? Otto, the bravest, th<& 
noblest man in the world ! Oh, Evelyn, I have so much to 
tell you ! But, my dear, Otto is waiting all this time. He 
wants you to congratulate us. Shall I call him in ? 

\_Exit Octavia, R. 

Mrs. W. Of course, dear. I am so surprised ! I never 
should have suspected it ! {Aside.) I knew they were made 
for each other ! 



A DETECTIVE IN PETTICOATS. 

{Goes to door r., with hand extended, as if to shake hands?) 
Enter Georgie, l., dancing wildly . 
Geor. Whoop-ee-ee-ee ! I've got him, at last ! 
(She twirls Mrs. Warrington around.) 

Mrs. W. Has your friend really come, baroness ? I'm so 
glad ! 

Geor. He's come, fast enough, just as I thought he would. 
I waited, like a cat for a mouse. The minute he was inside 
the door, I whipped out and locked him in, gave my whistle, — 
in came the policeman outside, — and the trick, was done ! 
He's in prison by this time. It was I that caught Burglar Bill, 
and you bet we'll have mince pie for dinner ! 

Mrs. W. Was there really a burglar in the house? And 
have you caught him, baroness? How can I ever thank 
you? 

Geor. Oh, that's all right. 

Mrs. W. (taking her hand.) You are the bravest woman I 
ever saw, baroness. I was scared to death, but you coura- 
geously thrust aside your fear and your pride, and saved our 
lives. 

Geor. Oh, I say, Mrs. Warrington ! 

Mrs. W. Don't say a word, baroness. You are a heroine ! 
I had no idea foreign women were so splendid. Are all baron- 
esses like you ? 

Geor. Baronesses like me? Well, I guess not exactly. 
That reminds me, I must be going. It's time for the real 
baroness to be coming ! 

Mrs. W. The real baroness ? What baroness ? 

Geor. Well, it's such a joke, I'll have to tell you. I'm not 
the Baroness von Edelweis ! I'm a private detective ! 

Mrs. W. You ! A detective ! 

Geor." Yes ! Sent on here to shadow Burglar Bill, who 
called himself Count Otto von Walden, you know, and was 
running after Octavia. 

Mrs. W. But Octavia introduced you to me as the 
baroness ! 

Geor. Yes. It was this way. I came to the house to 
inquire for a note Bill had sent to Octavia. When I rang your 
bell, last night, your maid hauled me upstairs in a great hurry, 
before I ^ould- say a word. She kept calling me " baroness." 
I didn't <:at':h ^n, at first, until I found the telegram saying 



3 2 A DETECTIVE IN PETTICOATS. 

the baroness would not come till to-nicht Here it i, tn v 

te t:ti. 7 ^ ed into the bWss ' s *EmJF"* 

ga^hen^rLrto 853? ^ ^ ^ **'* 
(Mrs. W ARRINGT0N reads tekgram> mddrop . nto ^^ 

MRS. W. Oh, what shall I do? 
to GEO R . Oh, don't be worried! Octavia's safe, thanks 

go to wmdou,.) ThaT mus, be her ? tlm< V ( T *V **'* 

with the fur-lined coat'anTiwte fe^^'^r"* 
her maid, and her nnp- rW ^ • Ieame f s - An ^ there's 

stylish ! Beats me all follow' I'd liife £"?" ' > She ' S 
if I had time. ke t0 sta y an d meet her 

alreldy? W ' ° h ' heaVCnS ! Haven>t you done enough 

CoSrMrs^wtilUrS.t'be^v 1 . *? j^V** 
Everything depends on von <Ll £ yl lake a brace •' 

as proud Is Pu^ch r OcT AV 'i A !f ' ^ "T 3 ° Ctavia ' She ' s 

»* Lr iau ghing ^°^%^J%& -;/f *»: 

Walden ! ' ° f imitatl0 «s, the real Count Otto von 



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|EDITH'S DREAM. 

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$ Music by EUGENE FEZANDIE, Jr. # 

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A Glimpse of the Brownies. A 

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Market Day. A n Operetta for Young 
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Queen Flora's Day Dream, An 
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The Boating Party. A Musical ;jf 

Sketch for Little Children. Thirty 11/ 

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Six Little Grandmas. A Musical \l/ 

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Six. very little girls. y^ 

Jimmy Crow. A Recitation for 

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A House in the Moon. A Kecit.) 

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THE PILLARS OF SOCIETY. 



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GHOSTS. 



ROSMERSHOLM. 



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W HEDDA GABLER. 

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